1. |
Lights
05:14
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It’s so hard to know what I should do
Because I know that it affects you
Every day, no, every waking moment,
I fear you are dismayed
Now tell me, is that true?
I know you don’t have a bad bone in your body
Especially not for me
It’s so hard to know what I should say
Because I know my silence hurts you
If only I could rip the filters from your eyes
And take back what it stole from you
Would you see like I do?
I know you don’t have a bad bone in your body
Especially not for me
I know that we’re all just living to get by here
I don’t need and apology
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2. |
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I’m thinking lately I’m in a place I’ve never been before
This feeling, the leviathan I’ve been searching for
I’m thinking maybe this white whale’s been eluding me
Call me crazy but I don’t think that I can let this go
Maybe something’s wrong with me
All I know is I don’t wanna leave
Just let go and show there’s something wrong with me
Truth be told, it’s all too much
I think I’m changing
I think the search is finally winding down I think I’m changing
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3. |
Overwhelmed
02:25
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I give up, It’s all too much
Hi, how are you? I’m overwhelmed
Wanna help but can’t keep focus
Who fucking cares if I give up?
I don’t want to feel like everything I do is for nothing
Hi, how are you? I’m overwhelmed
Wanna feel like I have purpose
Who fucking cares if I give up?
What sort of difference does it make when I’m alone?
I try not to ask myself because I’m scared of letting go
In the given situation do I even have a choice?
This pseudo-right to choose in all of this fucking noise
What sort of difference does it make when I’m alone?
If I stay by myself that’s all I’ll never know
I won’t let you down
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4. |
$1200
02:56
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You know I’ve got some friends
Some got sick, and some even died
It doesn’t make much sense, most will get fired if they unionize
They hardly have any money, they barely pay the rent
But fifteen dollars an hour will make Walmart go out of business
But fifteen dollars an hour will make McDonald’s go out of business
But fifteen dollars and hour will make Amazon go out of business
One-thousand two-hundred dollars, It’s not enough
But my taxes pay for your healthcare so you don’t give a fuck
Buy my taxes pay for your salary so you don’t give a fuck
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5. |
Melrose
03:27
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Peeling back my skin again, hoping it doesn’t come off
This happens to me every time you know, maybe it’s really my fault
Trying super hard, to not lean on you too much
I just don’t want you to ever think that I’m just using as a crutch
And I’m so scared of everything and everyone I know
I’m unprepared to do anything else on my own
No matter what comes, I promise I’ll survive
But I don’t think I’ll really be living if I’m not by your side
I’ve seen one million orchids and I’ve scoured my mind
You’re the reason I see cherry blossoms on a cold winter’s night
And I’m so scared of everything and everyone I know
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6. |
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I need something to justify the monotony of living
I need help
I feel like I am nothing, have no purpose, not a person
I have no sense of self, I’ve tried everything
If I survive, just leave me be
I’f I can’t go on you don’t have to carry me
If I can’t go on, keep my grave clean
If I can’t go on
Every single day I struggle just to get out of bed and try to see
That every single thing is right where it’s supposed to be
But I don’t think I believe it
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7. |
Kamp Krusty
04:34
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It’s getting easier to live a life
Where I can truly say I’m glad to live
Where a routine isn’t killing me
The days go by and it’s not disheartening
But still a shadow envelops me
Just biding time and waiting patiently
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8. |
Malarkey
05:38
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Everyday I get closer but I never do it
Everyday I get closer but I never find my way
Can I find enough time, I’ll never decide
The day that fixes everything never seems to arrive
Become a child and you’ll be free
I’m losing control of what I thought I had down
I don’t know where I am, I can’t see the ground
Is it my fate to always be afraid?
Trapped inside these walls with no way out
Trapped inside open space with no way out
A natural place, a natural phase, is it safe?
The lights go out and it takes me in
Who am I? Does it even matter?
Vision blurs, thoughts stop, no one’s there
Do you feel the stabs and the echoes?
I was so afraid that this would get under your skin
But I sit and watch as I feel my heart break
I feel it at the bottom, at the base
I thought that this was what you wanted when you asked for help
Really there are three things that scare me and shake me to my core
The overwhelm, the no escape, and no one’s near me anymore
Either I can’t escape or if I can it’s never quick enough
The question’s still on my mind, what am I running from?
I thought that this was what you wanted when you asked for help
I’ve come so far but the road is long and dark, pull me through
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9. |
St. Francis
04:29
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Trying to rationalize everything I do but
If I’m being honest everything makes no sense
It makes no sense and I really think I’m breaking down
It makes no sense and I really need to figure out
I’m dying to figure out where to draw the line at
Because I really don’t think I know yet
And I think I never will
Maybe I should just embrace that
Maybe I should try to change that
Maybe I should just embrace that
Maybe I’m better off that way, I think it keeps me sane
If I tear myself apart
I can put it in a better way
Tear me all apart and scatter all the pieces
Rip me limb from limb because I don’t need it
I don’t need it I don’t need anymore of these feelings
Trying to hold me down, don’t hold me down
Denying all rational thought that creeps into my mind
But if I’m being honest it all just wears me out
I need a break I can’t keep going on the way I am
That’s my mistake, I equate my work to who I am
I’m dying to figure out how to break this cycle
You know I ‘m starting to think that it’s my fault
And I think I never will
Maybe I should just embrace that
Maybe I should try to change that
Maybe I should just embrace that
Take a look back just remember where you were
this past December, one more fucking year gone by
and I’m tearing myself apart
And I wonder why I gave it all away
I gave it to you I gave it away
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10. |
Camp Tockwaugh
01:55
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11. |
Nostalgia
03:05
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Who am I? Who are you?
I used to know so well but now I’m so confused (I can’t go on)
It hurts me, it hurts so much
The lights go dark and everything goes numb (Living like this)
I feel so lost, I feel so overwhelmed
I’m so scared of everything and I’ve lost myself (Take me back)
But something is changed, something I can’t describe
A weight is off my chest and I can finally breathe
For once in my life I can do anything
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12. |
Brandywine
07:09
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Would it kill me just to make up my mind?
Another cycle ends and I’m still falling for the same tricks - What if I could just be sure, at least this time?
Another year goes by and I start running
Who am I? I’m nothing, just some molecules combined to form some kind of being who can never make his mind up
What if I could just be certain, tell me why you could ever love someone that’s like me
So unworthy You’re so amazing
And I’m so pathetic and it’s only getting worse
But I’m trying to break this habit of running when I’m feeling anchored
I’m so undeserving of anything at all but I’ll take everything you give me and try to give it back two-fold
And I’m so pathetic and it’s only getting worse
But I’m trying to break this habit
I start running
If you can read this I hope that you know that I made a mistake and I won’t let you go
If you can read this I hope that you know that I’m so scared of everything, especially myself
If you can read this I hope that you know that you make me so happy and I won’t let you go
If you can read this I hope that you know that I’m so scared of everything
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Think Machine Wilmington, Delaware
Delawarecore. Very loud music.
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